But when we love, we must do so knowing that those we love we will lose someday. Do I in anyway intend to propagate fear? Not at all, I only seek to explain or perhaps emphasize the realities of what we call in present day True Love; and maybe Love in itself is just enough definition without a qualifier “True”.
I say this because when you decide (decision) to love (a state of vulnerability) a person or people, you must give it your all so that when you lose them (death) either per they walking away or dying, you would have lived the rest of your life fulfilled knowing you left a mark other than regret.
Lose in my opening statement has a dual meaning; the first is “Death” and the other “Separation”.
One will agree that most often we lose our loved ones either through they walking away from our lives or in the event that they die.
Interestingly; we are in the best position to tell if we really loved them only when they are gone; so in most cases you can tell the intensity of love when people grieve over their lost loved ones.
May I take this opportunity to applaud all who ever dared to love because it takes a lot of courage and in the event that you lost a loved one; my heart goes to you. Growing up; I thought death was the scariest thing in life but now I know that Love is.
‘It is love that requires courage, because the people we love most may die before we do. Dare to and we instantly become vulnerable, love another with all our heart and we place our hearts in jeopardy.’ These are words of Forrest Church one of my favorite authors and a theologian. Let me also state I am inspired to write this piece after reading his book ‘Love and Death’.
In the month of love, I pray that all hearts that are being tempered with and those that are broken receive strength to love more. The hard truth is we pay for love with pain, the only consolation however is love is worth the cost and we can only be grateful if we are fortunate to receive love from those we give it to. We may protect ourselves from being hurt by not loving but that is cowardice and will restrain the very thing that makes our lives worth living.
Are you a man? Have you ever cried because somebody broke your heart? You may just be the bravest in the world of love, for it is only those who have great hearts that demonstrate pain because a loved one hurt them.
Yes our culture may depict bravery and maturity as those who pretend not to be hurt even when they can feel their hearts aching; nothing kills me than the numerous times I heard people say “Men don’t cry”.
Meaning what? A man doesn’t have feelings? Oh please, no wonder people die these days and we exclaim; but he wasn’t sick….!!!! And to anyone who ever broke a heart, you may say sorry if you wish but God is a just man.
As we celebrate love may; I warn that it is unwise to play with any female’s heart because of your libido, if it is not Love don’t you dare use the word love because it does not only become an assault on a fellow man; but an insult to God who is the exact definition of love.
Our elders say ‘when you warn the cat, you should as well warn the fish’; to all ladies who are in relationships for the wrong reasons, please counsel yourselves. If you don’t love a man; it is only ideal to let them know than lie for the benefits you may get; truly, everything that goes round will come right back round.
Let me put it right that, when one cries over those they love, it is not because they are weak; neither is it how much they spent on them; but the fact that somebody saw their vulnerability (love), and took advantage of it.
Truth is when we love; we lose our self-esteem to those we love; be it family, colleagues or strangers. In other words; you give up yourself to make others. I am uncomfortable what some people call love these days.
If you take the decision to love someone, you should know you are making a sacrifice, the minute you attach conditions, you may as well call it a contract.
Let us love right without fear because it is rewarding. My auntie once said; when you keep letting go when people offend you; you may one day have to let go of yourself (die).
But I think it is rather when you let go of yourself (Love); that you can let go when people offend you.
To all the brave ones who ever dared to love, my heart goes out to you; and trust me when I say you are my heroes.
Life is full of risks, the decision to love is one of them; do not be too careful, before you die, dare to live.
By: Princella Selasi Yawa Amevor
Email: [email protected]
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