There are instances when the words above headlines obituaries. Even in the absence of such a headline, the unexpected death of someone often results in the utterance of these words. At times the pain is so unbearable that it is wished that the death could be reversed to prolong living with that loved one (be it a friend, parent, sibling, husband or wife, cousin, nephew, grandparent etc.) However it is too late since the Bible makes it clear in Hebrews 9:27athat each person has just one chance to live.
This implies that death awaits each one of us but how it will happen remains a mystery. Most of the time several minutes are spent reading posters captioned “What a shock” and I guess many things keep running through the minds of readers at that moment but the best they can do is to react with sadness and shed some tears. We should note that no matter how much tears we shed, it cannot resurrect a dead person.
Every death is painful, depending on how close the person is to you and the impact of that person in your life. Death occurs in several ways but one mean that is becoming common and is associated with extreme sadness is suicide. There is no demographic variation for suicide, thus it is irrespective of one’s status, age, gender, color, race etc. “Suicide” is also the only mean of death in which the individual knows the exact time, place, and how the death will occur. The good aspect is that suicide has a 100% chance of prevention.
Suicide
The word suicide is derived from two Latin words sui (“of one self”) and side (“a killing”) (Maris 2001). Suicide is defined as intentionally and successfully ending one’s life. An unsuccessful attempted suicide is known as parasuicide that should not be confused with suicide. Comer (2004) in his book abnormal psychology defined suicide as “a self-inflicted death in which one makes an intentional, direct and conscious effort to end one’s life”.
In 2012, WHO ranked suicide as the 2nd leading cause of death among persons aged 15 to 29 years old globally as compared to the year 2000 when suicide was ranked as the third leading cause of death following motor vehicle accidents and homicides (Townsend 2000).There have been records of suicide in some universities and secondary schools in the country just this year such as: Disappointed SRC candidate threatens to commit suicide -LegonConnect
It has been recorded that although females attempt suicide more often than males in most of the world, males successfully commit suicide more often. Successful suicide numbers of about 70% of men to 30% women was recorded by (Townsend M. C, 2000).
Risk Factors of Suicide
There are several risk factors which precipitate suicide, its attempt or ideations. Among these are being single and childlessness (Hoyer & Lund, 1993), alcohol and other drug abuses, being diagnosed with chronic diseases, deformities or loss of a body part, rejection, separation/divorce, loss of job/unemployment, death of a loved one, false accusations, physically and sexually abused spouses and children, poor relationship with parents and family conflict, financial problem and problems with boyfriend or girlfriend (Ferguson, 2000), poor academic performance, being widowed, very high and low social class individual, and finally individual with psychiatric problems like depression, schizophrenia etc.
How will you know if someone is capable of committing suicide or wants to commit suicide?
It has been shown that most suicidal victims clearly communicate their intent and even those who do not announce their plans usually give signals (Shneidman 1992). Leenars in 2004 added that 8 out of 10 people who kill themselves have given definite clues and warnings about their intentions. Some of these suicides could have been prevented if caution had been taken of the behavioral and verbal clues made by these victims.
However, most of the time we make fun of these comments when made by people. Below are some behavioral and verbal clues which we should take notice of.
Let’s analyze this suicide note that was captured by Comer (2004) in his book abnormal psychology.
“Bill: I am very sorry for causing you so much trouble. I really didn’t want to and if you would have told me at first time the truth, probably both of us would be very happy now. Bill I am sorry but I can’t take life anymore. I don’t think there is any goodness in the world. I love you very very much and I wanted you to be as happy in your life as I wanted to make you. Tell your parents I am very sorry and please if you can do it, don’t ever let my parents know what happened. Please don’t hate me Bill, I love you. Mary.
From the note written, we can deduce that the person didn’t want to commit the suicide but thought suicide was the best option to save her from whatever problem she was facing which should not be so. Leenars (2001) and Boerges(1998) wrote that even though most suicidal victims wish to die, many want to make others understand how desperate they are, get help or teach others a lesson.
Prevention of Suicide
A story is told of someone who wanted to end his life because he thought he was so poor. He removed his clothes and sandals and climbed a tree in the forest to end his life by hanging. Just as he was about to hang himself with a rope someone came from nowhere to pick his clothes and sandals. He then realize he was better than someone so he shamefully went home.
Morale: Let’s remember that no matter the problems we might be facing, someone wishes to be in our situation. Let us therefore be grateful always and appreciate God for life and the things he has done for us.
These are few recommendations of how suicide could be prevented: Establishing positive interpersonal relationship: Good interpersonal relationship can be a means of reducing stress, depression and hence reducing suicide. The prevalence rate could be reduced if we all can begin to love another, analyze words that come out from our mouth before we say it, put up smiles, and learn to forgive those who offend us. Don’t envy and don’t get angry too often (Job 5:2). And even if you get angry do what is right so that you don’t feel guilty later. Learn to use these words when necessary (I am sorry, thank you and please). Talking to a trusted person when depressed. It is widely accepted that no man is an island. We should learn to share our problems with our loved ones. If people talk about suicide plans with you try to listen attentively, do not discourage the person but rather ask about the means, place and time of the intended suicide. Let the individual know you care and find out why the person wants to commit suicide. Provide help if you can, if you cannot, refer the person to the right place for help. Keep an eye on and stay with individuals who have attempted suicide or those who have made verbal or behavioral clues since they have higher chances of committing suicide. If possible refer them to a psychologist, a pastor, a teacher or lecturer, an elder or anyone the person trust. Have a positive view of yourself. Philippians 4:13 says that “I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me” KJV. Know who you are, make better choices and invest in achievable goals, trust in God, be prayerful, read your Bible daily and do good. Sing songs that can boost your buoyed your spirit up (Colossians 3:16) since the songs you sing can influence you negatively or positively. Accept daily misfortunes: They are situations one does not have control over and cannot do anything about. We can try to prevent certain things from happening but if it happens we should accept them and move on. Forgive yourself of mistakes done and try not to repeat them. Capitalize on the good things the Lord has done in your life: “When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed, When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.” Johnson, (1897). Avoid stigmatization: According to the Merrian-webster dictionary, stigma is defined as a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society /group of people have about something. Stigma brings about stress, depression and can increase suicide risk. Lecturers and teachers should avoid stigmatizing students who are dull. Parents should love their children equally and should not discriminate especially those who are physically and mentally challenged. Finally, know who you give your heart to and know when to say Yes and No to avoid heart break. Do not put your trust in man (Psalm 146:3).
Is your heart pierced with anguish? Are you fainting? Are you weak? Is all hope lost? Is there any sorrow? Do you feel like no one cares? Has fear crippled you? Do feel like given up and ending it all? Are you wounded and weary because of the troubles, sufferings and disappointment of this world? Remember the bible says in John 15:19 that the world would have loved you if you are of the world. Let’s not forget God cares even amidst all the troubles and he bid us in Matthew 11:28 to come to him with our heavy burden for him to give us rest.
Suicide is a choice, life is just one so let’s protect it. After death there is judgment (Hebrews 9:27) and anyone who terminates his/her life to end a problem on this earth will have to face God one day to answer why? And finally face eternal suffering which the sufferings of this earth cannot be in anyway compared to. Stay alive to witness God blessings. God bless you.