Mensa:” We here in Ghana like it when one of our Sisters is married to a White Man, not so much to an Asian, a Chinese, but European or American.”
Walking through the streets in Hamburg, a White Man and his Black Wife attracts always attention. When a mixed raced child is involved, old Grandmothers constantly stop the couple wanting to admire and touch the beautiful child born across races.
Yes, it looks attractive like a wonderful painted picture on canvas when Black Woman and White Man walk side by side holding hands. At such moments no one thinks what it takes to keep such an interracial marriage alive and going as long as someone has not experienced it for him or herself. It requires maturity too make it work. On Underground Trains in Europe passengers adore mixed race couples most of the time having the desire in their hearts to be in the footsteps of the White Man.
Let us be clear, the intention of most White Men wanting to have a Black Woman as girl-friend of wife is purely base on the believe that Sex with a Black Woman is more exciting than with a White Woman with less curves shaping her body at all parts and their cultural openness in Sex matters.
Most White Women marry Black Men are the so called “Left Overs” in their societies with no White Man to be found seeing in the poor Black Man a chance to find happiness in life not wanting to see that most Black Man only engage in such relationships to see the White Wife as his Sugar Mummy and Step Stone into the Western World.
The Black Woman is attracted to the White Man because of the money he can provide and make her comfortable in life while getting the opportunity to stay in the White Man’s country and in social and financial security compared to African countries. Some Black Women only marry a White Man as an entrance into the White Man’s world, once achieved, dump him with no shame or regret heading to another Lover and husband not uncommonly of the same race.
When the rosy times with violin music played in heaven on earth are over and daily life sets in, the test for such marriages come.
Marriages of White Woman and Black Man more often head for divorce compared to the other way round. A Black Man is used of his wife to serve him and not having to share the burden of the household and children’s education, while the White Woman is trained and expects the Husband, especially when both are working, to share the duties of everyday life equally. Not every Black Man has the capability to understand this simple demand and attitude for which reason daily life between them ends. In cases in which such black and white marriages work out well and are ever lasting until death departs both, the children have the chance to benefit from both worlds, learn respect for different cultures and characters, travel the world with different, understanding and open eyes while always asking themselves about their identity.
When a White Man marries a Black Woman things become more complicated as the White Man is expected to perform the Traditional Marriage besides the Legal Marriage. It is an outcry inside the White Man to ask his future wife’s parents for her hand in marriage, negotiating and paying the Bride price as in his society nobody needs to ask anyone except the Woman for a Yes and no money changes hands to buy a Bride. For Blacks this does not seem to be a big issue, while for the White Man it is completely against his believe and values only be willing to sacrifices his soul and spirit to marry finally the woman of his heart. He himself would never ask his Wife to perform his tradition marriage as in the White Man’s culture the Legal Marriage is the norm.
The story does not end here as the family of the Black Wife sees the White Son-in-Law as a constant provider to send them money and as any White Man by Blacks is seen as a Rich Man, they will not understand and accept that also a White Man can be poor or with limited financial resources. The pressure on the finances, emotions and spirit of such couples from the African families is enormous while limited from the side of the White Man not only as the White Man lives in much smaller families but it is not in their culture to interfere in a marriage unless asked to help. The pressure from the African family has a good chance to end such marriages unless the wife is not strong enough to fight their own siblings back home, teach them the right way and stand for her own marriage and happiness.
Blacks are trained to keep their emotions for themselves and hide problems in their marriage among the married couple, while White are openly sharing their feelings about their Spouses with others knowing this will not be misused against them.
A young White Man not experienced in life, on the way to find his very own personality and place in life will find it difficult to sustain such a interracial marriage with a good woman. White Men above the age of forty, shaken well by life but not crying about what life had done to them ready with inner stability to take on the vibrant journey with a Black Woman, will see that he has a chance for a long lasting marriage even the much younger wife is not as intellectually educated as him and needs to adopt to higher levels of living standards in her husband’s world when her heart and intentions are right based on extensively experienced Christian Believe guided by Pastors to help in times of confusion and irritations.
African and European Cultures and Traditions vary enormously. Black Men like to touch their private parts frequently in public (something impressive to scratch down there?). As life progresses, so do Cultures and Traditions. They change over time not by regulations from outside or given above, but by people that see the need to change and improvement starting in their own lives to spread and reach out to people around them. The emotional and spiritual capacity of understanding, respect and seeing the way ahead makes such cross-cultural marriages more needed than ever to shape our small global village and make most out of it.
Are you ready for the journey? Take your time in life!