The single life is pretty good. You can walk around the house with no make-up, dance like no one’s watching, spend all your money on yourself, flirt with who you want, make star shapes in your bed, and pretty much go anywhere you like at any time. No one is going to tell you any differently (except maybe your mom).
But as sweet as the single life is, nothing beats being in love. Nothing beats waking up next to your man. Nothing beats coming home on a Friday night after work, knowing you’ll be spending the weekend with him. Nothing beats cooking together, watching movies together, laughing together, winning together.
As awesome as all this sounds, we’re not always ready to get back on the dating scene. If we start dating too soon, it isn’t love that we find – it’s frustration and misery.
If you’re not sure of what to do right now, here are the top 10 signs that you should stay single a bit longer:
You’re still finding it hard to love yourself
If you don’t love yourself, how do you expect a man to come along and love you? It’s pretty much impossible. Any time he tries to get too close, your issues will surface and you’ll raise your barriers.
Loving ourselves isn’t easy, especially if we’ve been hurt in a prior relationship. But it’s really important that you get your own house in order first before you start looking for a new man. It would be unfair on him if you started dating, despite having issues that are preventing you from actually opening your heart to love.
First, learn to love yourself. And then you can love others.
Um, Because You Can?!
So you’ve got your mom telling you that it’s time to start dating again.
You’ve got your friend who’s “looking out for you”, telling you that they don’t like seeing you single, and that they’re gonna find you a man this weekend.
But wait a minute. It’s YOUR life. You can do what the heck you want and be as single as you want!
There is no one to date!
There’s literally no one worth dating. So what do you do? Do you finally give Bob from HR a go, a guy who’s been waiting for his chance for five years? Or do you wait?
“Great! Do you mind if my mom comes along?”
If there is no one to date – don’t date! Just wait. Don’t tear your hair out, stressing that there will never be anyone to date ever again. Just bide your time. Be patient. Have some faith that things will actually work themselves out.
Because it’s time to have some fun
If you’ve been in a relationship pretty much all your laugh, perhaps now is the perfect time to let your hair down and have a bit of F. U.N.
Go out and party. Meet guys who just want to have a giggle. Let your hair down. Enjoy being single. Flirt.
You’ve got too much going on right now
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to re-enter the dating scene despite clearly not having enough time on our hands.
This is totally unfair on ourselves, but it’s especially unfair on the guy.
Dating despite having no time is just a bad idea right from the start. It will stress you out when you realise you’re running out of hours in the day, and it will cause upset and friction and even more stress when you have to cancel because you have no time to make the date.
If you’re super busy at the moment, just wait until things calm down a bit until looking for love. You need to dedicate a lot of time to making a relationship work. If you can’t do that right now, it just isn’t worth it.
You don’t know what you want
The biggest reason you shouldn’t start dating again is if you don’t even know what you want from a relationship or life itself. Until you do, you should avoid getting close to someone. Why? Because it could easily end in disaster when you realise that they’re not what you wanted.
Before dating, it’s important that you make a list of what you want from a relationship and life. Do you want commitment, freedom, kids, marriage …. ?
You’re still not ready to settle down
If a part of you still wants to have fun and isn’t ready to settle down just yet, it’s a really bad idea to get into a relationship with someone.
Especially if that someone has the wrong impression and thinks you’re not only ready to settle down, but that you might also be the One.
If you still want fun, stay single. Getting into a relationship at this stage in your life will leave you feeling suffocated, could cause resentment, and can ruin what would otherwise have been a good friendship or relationship.
You might also find that you break his heart.
You’re still not over your ex
Can’t get your ex out of your head? Getting into another relationship probably isn’t going to help.
If you’re not over your ex yet, you need to get over him before even thinking about getting with someone else. If you don’t, you mind end up hurting you both.
Sometimes, we’re not really looking for a man we can date. We looking for a saviour. This is never going to work out because the truth is that only YOU can save yourself.
If you’re feeling upset and need someone to come along and save you, it’s probably a good idea to stay away from the dating scene until you’ve overcome your issues.
There are still big things you want to do
Want to travel or start a business? If you’ve got something big in the pipeline, it’s probably best that you finish it first before getting into a relationship.
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(Via: CitiFM Online Ghana)